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Thursday, November 12, 2009,
take you down
 i wish people would stop undermining me that much. but in a way i'm glad, cos no matter how defeated or scared i feel, i will try that much harder just to keep it together.
optical illusions
 i like how soapy bubbles glow iridescent.
i just want to sparkle for a moment before i fizzle out and die.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009,
martians = earthlings
 it's funny how we fear the unknown. funny how we regard the foreign, the unfamiliar, the strange with uncertainly and much trepidation.
exams, people, situations. they're all one and the same. once you get around to it/them, you'll realise that hey, it wasn't so hard after all and feel foolish for being such a wuss earlier.
so just plunge in. take risks. there's nothing to lose and everything in the world to gain.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about taking chances. And how it’s really just about overcoming your fears. Because the truth is, every time you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you’re always glad you took it. — Scrubs
p/s Scrubs used to be one of my favourite sitcoms till it got damn retarded in the later seasons.
off to hit the books. study hard people! <3
a break in routine
so not the time to go swooning over little schoolgirl crushes.
but in my defence, i feel rather adequately prepared (ha. double ha.) for my COM203 test tmr.
sexams start 2 thursday from now. so sexiting. the quicker i get them over with, the quicker i can go and play. okay, i'll amend that. the quicker i can play without guilt trips. in the midst of all the studying, tmr is Geek Day at WKWSCI. so basically our entire school's gonna be dressing up as geeks. i approve. for as long-time readers will know, i truly subscribe to the belief that the clothes maketh the man-
"if you dress smart, you'll feel smart and thus you ARE smart." -Chan Luo Er
check out an old post on getting straight As for the A Levels --> click
yes, i really am too free.
time for bed! (:
Saturday, November 07, 2009,
the passage of time
 "Lollipops turn into cigarettes. The innocent ones turn into sluts. Homework goes in the trash. Mobile phones are being used in class. Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka. Bikes become cars. Kisses turn into sex. Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground? When protection meant wearing a helmet? When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties? Dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and mum was your hero? Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were about who ran the fastest. War was only a card game. And the only drug you knew was cough medicine. When wearing a skirt didn’t make you a slut. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow? And we couldn’t wait to grow up." -Anonymous
when i was in secondary school, i was in awe of people who were in junior college. they seemed all worldly and wise in their french braids and sneakers.
when i was in junior college, i was fascinated by the university students and their no-uniforms rule, their long term breaks and incredibly exciting exchange programs.
when i was in junior college, i couldn't believe i've turned 18. i didnt feel any different. not wiser. not less frivolous. needless to say, i was profoundly disappointed.
at all stages of your life, people will ask, so what do you aspire to be in the future, what do you want to do. what do you need to do.
the difference between want and need.
i've always shrugged their questions off with a smile and mutter something about asking me when i'm 16. then it became 18. then now, 21.
though now i wonder if people just go through life not knowing what they want out of it at all.
we study in pursuit of the paper chase. the qualifications nab us a somewhat decent job for us to forge a living. we need cash to live. we use the excess to purchase material things we do not need. things that we want. we crave more things. so we work harder.
the above cycle is not unknown to mankind. because as every single one of us, from that high-flying CEO who barely takes the time to talk to his kids, to your literature teacher who spends all day managing a class of incorrigible ingrates, knows, that's the way life goes. there doesnt seem to be an easy way out of the system. so we conform.
if i could have my way, i'll put flowers in my hair and go dancing in the fields.
but a mind is a terrible thing to waste.
the no goal, no aspiration, no ambition way of life will eventually get to me. that, and responsibilities, how can you ditch your aging parents, your siblings, ie. people who rely on you emotionally or financially, just to fulfill some selfish need for hedonistic thrill?
so i'll study. i'll conform.
and cliches amongst all the cliches, to just do the darn best i can and make the most of it all. i'll give it a decent shot. if i get my As. good. but if i don't. so be it. i've tried. and there is so much more to life. at the end of the day, when it's your turn to dance with the grim reaper, what do you want to take away with you?
tell me was it worth it.
(i've realised that everytime the exams draw near. i'll write an angsty post not unlike this, as i did for the O's and the A levels both. it's just to occupy the time i should be studying instead of blogging. HAHAH)
much lovin'
pulled an all-nighter doing nothing constructive. had much lovin' from the girls though. so all's good (:
we spent the night being silly and talking about stuff that hit pretty close to home. i'm quite glad for them.
“So love the people who treat you right,
forget about the ones who don’t,
and believe that everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, take it,
if it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said that it’d be easy,
they just promised it would be worth it.” you don't have to understand why. just know that yes, some rearrangement of perspectives.
oh yeah, parents' belief that i'm lesbian was reinforced after they drove past when i was sending Sonia off into a cab- i was rearranging her hairband to brush hair off her face. HAHAHAH.
Izzy and i went to play swings after. i like being on swings. the heart-dropping, pulse racing high derived is reminiscent of falling in love. but too high, too fast for too long gets you nauseous and woozy after. my point exactly.
Tiffy's asleep on my couch right now. yawn. i think i'll join her.
bye world. i'll see you again.
Thursday, November 05, 2009,
oh bother
 nothing at all actually.
which is the problem. am rather disgusted and appalled at my distinct lack of urgency in view of the upcoming semester one exams.
Monday, November 02, 2009,
TO DO
 the engine is stalling. someone needs to kickstart it.
just for 3 weeks luo er. c'mon.
Friday, October 30, 2009,
someday, i'll regret this
self-fulfilling prophecies.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009,
just because
 i <3 Andy Warhol.
He fascinates me to no end; it's not just his work but his larger than life personality as well. he makes me chuckle- there are a couple of super retarded quotes of his floating out there in cyberspace. go check them out. the strangest thing of all is that, they make sense, in a warped twisted sort of way, even in the context of society today.
okayz. back to books.
Monday, October 26, 2009,
sunsquirt, starburst
 i have an incredible urge to travel all the way to Vivo City's Candy Empire just to procure this. sigh to my insatiable appetites.(to Sonia, Kimy and Izzy: get your mind out of the gutter! grin)
anyhows, today's been a relatively good day! cue bursts of sunrays, blooming flowers, dazzling displays of song and dance :D
initially i was dreading today because:
i had to start off the morning with a COM204 tutorial by Ms Bala, whom CS students will know as being strict, unforgiving and especially scathing in remarks
following which there is Korean tutorial, super painful for me on normal days, a quiz was slated to take place. double whammy.
then, there's marketing tutorial where it's the final presentation (read: biggest weightage) and my group was still scrambling to get our act together over Skype last night.
BUT things have a way of working themselves out. that and the fact that life gives us a break every now and then. grin
Ms Bala skipped tutorial today (citing a heavy workload. like wtf. hahah) and assigned work online, so my group worked out the details and headed to the Macs in school for breakfast.
As for Korean, we still had that quiz but class was pretty okay today. here is where the theory of relativity comes into play; today was better than most days. so yay!
Marketing was good! my group has a way of pulling our presentations off so i was just being my usual kiasu and anxious self when i fretted about it earlier. hahah.
so yes. good day :DDD
Sunday, October 25, 2009,
say bye to individual thought
“Ideally, what should be said to every child, repeatedly, throughout his or her school life is something like this: ‘You are in the process of being indoctrinated. We have not yet evolved a system of education that is not a system of indoctrination. We are sorry, but it is the best we can do. What you are being taught here is an amalgam of current prejudice and the choices of this particular culture. The slightest look at history will show how impermanent these must be. You are being taught by people who have been able to accommodate themselves to a regime of thought laid down by their predecessors. It is a self-perpetuating system. Those of you who are more robust and individual than others will be encouraged to leave and find ways of educating yourself — educating your own judgements. Those that stay must remember, always, and all the time, that they are being moulded and patterned to fit into the narrow and particular needs of this particular society.”
-Doris Lessing (The Golden Notebook)
University is making me stupid. eloquent phrases of the past refuse to work their way through. i stumble over coherent thoughts. i crash and burn when i strive for mere competence.
what is it about higher education that turns one into a bumbling fool?
Friday, October 23, 2009,
needs saving
 will you be my superhero?
came across this picture and just couldn't resist. grin
i'm home! have drew up a rough time-table for next week and my To-Do List reads like the self-help manuel for the computer; extremely long, incomprehensive but necessary. oh well, i shall not complain. because as i always say, optimism is so much more endearing. hahah.
have been eating ice-cream out of the tub- yes, it's been one of those weeks. am about to search for chips and such :DDD
just get down to it.
Thursday, October 22, 2009,
stay strong
giving up is so not my thing but i am veering towards that direction.
because i am inferior. mediocre at best.
will need a hell lot of will, (much better) time management and copious amounts of junk food to get through coming weeks.
hugs would be awesome, just about now.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009,
anxiety attack
hello world, exams are in less than 30 days. okay, bye.
Monday, October 19, 2009,
Rock Band/Guitar Hero
today, we (Yus, Zen, Sam, Vig, Michele and me) Rock Band and Guitar Hero (ed) the day away at Vig's place. He has like everything! serious. from like double mics to double guitars to drum set to stacks upon stacks of xbox games.
i never knew being a rockstar was so hard. and tiring. hahah. but it was awesome fun!
I've missed my CJC classmates! today was a really good day <3
in a couple of hours though, i'll be back in hall and i would need to get a headstart on work that i've been procrastinating on. for those of you at my page, i bet you're procrastinating too!
so being the nice, helpful person that i am, let me help you along-
okayokay, one last one. HAHAHAH.
so go.
get moving.
NOW.
tra-la-la
 so on sunday, Sam and Michele came over and we had girly talks/stalked boys on facebook/red wine/watched chickflicks (ie. He's Not That Into You)
i like lounging around with my girls doing absolutely nothing of value. grin.
as John Lennon once said, "time you enjoyed wasting, was not wasted." i felt as if i was being productive!
i think we should all major in boys101.
Saturday, October 17, 2009,
SU17 GLs outing #1
 roller-blading at East Coast Park for our very first bonding session- imagine Adam Sandler on crack.
circles of trust, endless jibes, chain-crashing, bouncing off pavements, tripping over twigs and then a trip to a food centre for a round table full of food.
my kind of day :D
pictures should be up on facebook! hahah lazy to check and upload. maybe sometime laterz.
what do you want?
that's the million dollar question
i need to be more adept at prioritizing my priorities-
what i love versus what i am responsible for
(in order of decreasing importance)
what i love family. friends. dance. sports club. school (self-explanatory)
versus
what i am responsible for family. school. sports club. friends. dance.
1) Family; no matter what, family is number one.
2) School; because first and foremost, i am a student.
3) Sports Club; by joining an event, i made a commitment and people are relying on me to get the job done.
4) Friends; yes, i'm responsible for my friends but they're low on this list because although i try to be a hundred percent responsible for them, they need to be responsible for themselves first.
5) Dance; dance is something i'm passionate about. but as of now, it's not of utmost importance because concerts/competitions are still awhile (a very teeny while but still) away.
sometimes i wish i wasn't so rational.
Thursday, October 15, 2009,
Schoolyard fuddles
Lectures have been pretty fun for my core modules.
tuesdays are full-on lecture days where i just spend the entire day at the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication Information in our sole lecture theatre with my entire school cohort. yes, we communication studies are an exclusive lot of less than 200.
anyhow, so this week tuesday was pretty cool cos for 2 out of 3 lectures we were watching movies/video clips.
for COM204- Writing for the Mass Media, we watched Thank You for Smoking.  it was good! i thought it was pretty witty.
then for COM201-Foundation of Communication Studies, we watched Youtube clips of Friends to analyse the didactics of relationships between Ross and Rachel. Friends FTW.
i now have time to blog cos it's COM201 lecture again. hahah. we're still learning about relationships; how to let people know we're interested, how to end relationships and everything in between.
p/s we're still watching Youtube clips! we just went through The Best and Worst pick-up lines and a couple of clips from Sex and the City and The Ugly Truth.
(was gonna post up the video clips but i got lazy. heehee)
i feel like i'm learning alot. not.
but this beats assignments hands down. for CS assignments are actually quite time-consuming/soul-sucking/hair-pulling despite the fun-loving facade it portrays.
oh well. i'm a student. so yes, no complains. am still swept off my feet with sourcing for sponsors for sports club's X-physique, trying to keep up with readings for lectures, doing marketing presentations, reading my lit elective texts, trying to figure out the endless korean homework...etc BUT I'M A TROOPER.
will survive :Dbesides, admist the busy schedule the upcoming long weekend's gonna be fun. there's roller-blading at East Coast on Sat with the Sports Camp peeople. The weekend also sees me (finally!) clearing some space to meet the girls ( Cheryl, Michele and Sam) on sun night for movieeee. *insert estatic smiley* and then i have the JC classmates on mon cos Vignesh's inviting us to his place for Deevapali. hahah. helloooo guitar hero!
am excitedz about the weekend! will have to stay up late to finish up abovementioned work but i reckon it's a good enough pay-off (:
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